I didn't know if it was the morphine Martha was taking or if the cancer had affected her brain but Martha would fiddle around with the bed controls almost continuously. I would have to take them from her and put them where she couldn't get to them or she would continuously raise and lower the bed. This was a heart-breaker to me seeing my wife in such a poor condition and knowing that there wasn't anything I could do to help her. I would talk to her and would always tell her that I loved her.

Then on the night of April 5th we had company. It was the son of an old friend of our that we had known since he was just a little boy. He, his wife and their two children spent about an hour or so visiting with Martha and I. After they left I got Martha all tucked-in and laid down on my mattress to watch some tv. Shortly I fell asleep since I knew that Martha was already asleep.

The next morning when I awoke I looked over at Martha and thought that she was still asleep. It was then that I noticed that she was not asleep but in a coma! I quickly called my mother to come-up and then took Martha's blood sugar fearing that it was brought on my her having a low blood-sugar again, like what had happened on February 22nd. When the tester said that it was only 13 I knew that things were going bad! I had already called 911 and the nurse who had helped take care of her.

Within just a few minutes the nurse arrived and so did the fire department and ambulance. While waiting I had tried to give Martha some orange juice and some sugar to try and bring her blood-sugar level back up. This didn't seem to be working. Unlike the first time Martha had been taken to the Moreno Valley Community Hospital, the ambulance crew allowed me to ride up front with them. I was hoping beyond all hope that this trip to the hospital would turn-out like the previous trip in February. Was I in for a shock!

When we got to the hospital I hopped out hoping to see Martha responding just as she had before. To my dismay, she wasn't responding at all! The doctors in the emergency room treated her for her low blood-sugar but this didn't seem to help at all so they admitted her. Since I had called my daughter prior to going to the hospital she arrived shortly after we arrived in the ambulance. Together we stayed with Martha in her room, sitting next to her bed and holding her hands and talking to her even though we didn't know for sure that Martha could even hear us.

Later that night they moved Martha up to the second floor. The nurses there were very nice and considerate to my daughter and me. They brought in two reclining chairs so that we could be more comfortable. They even gave us blankets and pillows. Between my daughter and myself, we were with Martha all the time. Sometimes one of us would take a walk outside to have a smoke and clear our heads. Sometimes during the day one of us would leave the hospital to get cleaned-up or change cloths while the other one stayed with Martha.

We would feed Martha jello or give her something to drink. It wasn't easy since she was mostly out of it. I fully believe that she could hear us because she would respond in little ways when we talked to her. This was truly a heart breaking time because we all knew where this was leading.

On April 11th Martha's ex-sister-in-law, Eileen and her daughter Penny, along with Penny's daughter, came down from Sacramento to visit with Martha. This was also heart-wrenching since Martha couldn't respond to them being there. On the night of April 12th. Eileen invited my daughter and I out for dinner. We really didn't want to leave Martha alone but were in need of a good meal since we had been staying at the hospital around the clock for almost seven days. Both Vivian and I felt like we had abandoned Martha and our food stuck in our throats as we ate. It was hard to eat with tears in our eyes. Both my daughter and I couldn't wait to get back to Martha's side.

On the morning of April 13th Eileen and the others left to drive back to Sacramento. During Martha's stay in the hospital her sister Marion, who lived in Tacoma Washington, and was too ill to come down, would call every day to talk to Martha. One of us would hold the telephone up to Martha's ear so she could hear her sister talking to her. We would also play Martha's favorite Mexican music for her to listen to. She seemed to like this because she had always enjoyed listening and singing to this music. The nurses never gave us a second look for doing this because they knew what we were all going through. We couldn't have asked for better nurses than the ones Martha had. They took care of Martha like she was a Queen. In their own way they took care of my daughter and me too.

Later on in the afternoon, on this the seventh day of her hospitalization, Martha's breathing began to slow-up. One of the male nurses, who had taken very good care of Martha, came in to warn us of what was going to happen. He told us that Martha's breathing would just slow down little by little and then she would just stop breathing and would be at rest. My daughter and I stayed by Martha's side talking to her and holding her hands and praying. Oh God how much we wanted a miracle.

Then at 4:50PM while my daughter stood on one side of Martha holding her left hand, and I on the other side of her holding her right hand, she stopped breathing and left this world for a much better place. As I looked down at her lovely face a little tear came out of her right eye. I leaned over and kissed this tear from her cheek. We had lost the most wonderful person that we had ever known. Our hearts were broken and tears came like a flood.

I spent three weeks living alone and then my daughter moved-in with me. Shortly after Martha's passing I joined a 'grief-counseling' group that met one night each week. At first it was extremely hard being there and relating my story whenever a new person entered the group but after some time it got easier. The people in our 'group' would sometimes go to a restaurant after the meeting and socialize. This was very good getting out since I had almost become a hermit. Occasionally someone in our 'group' would call the others and make plans to meet for a little party or at a local restaurant for 'Happy Hour.' This too was good for me. One very good thing to come of me being involved in this 'group' was meeting a very nice woman by the name of Paula. She and I became good friends and have remained so ever since. To be honest, I never felt that a man and a woman could be just 'friends' but I have learned that this is possible. Paula has since developed a good relationship with a fellow named Monty and they live together in Huntington Beach. I'm happy that she is enjoying her life because she took the death of her husband very hard and she deserves to have whatever happiness in her life that she can find.